Do you really believe in God?
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Posted 11 March 2013 - 09:56 AM
Posted 12 March 2013 - 01:03 PM
I do because He gave me a second chance in my life, here is my story.
I was in a relationship for more than a decade. And since it lasted for so long, people thought that we would end up together. He was a nice guy, but he had difficulty in standing firm with his decisions. I suppose that I grew
Up blind with the idea that one day he would be man enough to complete what he needed to accomplish. We fell into temptation a lot of times. I thought that we would get married, but it never happened.
I decided to go on a mission to Ecuador and leave my family behind for two years. The mission made me realize how far my relationship had been with the Lord.
The relationship made my boyfriend and me closer to each other, but it did not lead us to the Lord. So, I decided to let go of it. It was a process I had to go through, yet I knew and believed that it was worth it because this time, I made the decision to purify myself for my God. It was so agonizing for me because I thought that no one would accept me considering my past. I felt ugly and unworthy.
But God gives everyone a second chance, and when He gave it to me, I embraced it like a child. I met a guy who was a saint-in-the-making. No, he was not a priest, but to me, he was heaven-sent. He was the son of my host family. Part of my routine as a missionary was to translate talks from English to Spanish and he was my editor-in-chief. We became good friends.
One day, I realized that I was always excited to see him. It was a giddy feeling that frightened me. I prayed that the Lord would take away that feeling if it would not please him.
God had His way of surprising me, because one day this guy talked to me and told me that he liked me.
I could still remember how I smiled in my head from the right to the left hemisphere. He told me that he would be a Christian brother to me and asked me to be a Christian sister to him.
He requested me to move out of their house because he would like us to pray for each other and leave no room for temptation. I was so amazed that the only thing I said to him was. "OK, I'll pack my things now." At that moment, I felt God embracing me and affirming how beautiful I still was in His eyes, and that I deserve a second chance.
It was a process of discernment for both of us. We wanted to know if what we felt at the time was just pure fascination, because if it was, then we had to let it go.
We spent time getting to know each other. And then the dreaded day came when he asked if I was still a virgin since he knew of my decade-long relationship.
With eyes closed, I told him the truth and started to cry. There was an agonizing silence between us. I was afraid because I knew that the fairy tale was going to be over soon; that the man who might just be "the one" might eventually become the one who got away.
I felt frustrated. He never had sexual relations with anyone in his life. Not that he never had the chance, but he chose not to do it. And that made me more ashamed of myself.
Suddenly, he embraced me and told me that my past was over and that I was living a new life. His embrace felt like a hug from the Lord affirming me of my restored worthiness. He told me that he would protect my purity until our wedding day. When he said that, I knew that he was already the one. He was the answer to my prayers.
He was the one whom God prepared for me for so long and He gave him to me at the right time.
We continued our relationship. I kept moving from one host family to another because we wanted to remain true to our promise to the Lord.
After one year, we got married. We tied the knot on the feast of the Immaculate Conception because we wanted to consecrate our marriage to Mama Mary. Our prayer as a couple is that of Tobias and Sarah's: that the Lord would allow us to live together to a happy old age.
At present, we are a missionary couple and we will go back to our home base soon.
I love my husband and he is my one true blessing.
Our prayer for each other is that we remain instruments in bringing the other to holiness.
Indeed, our God is the God of second chances.
Sharing my story is an affirmation that I am already healed. I hope that it will bring inspiration to those women who have fallen and are struggling to keep themselves pure again until they get married. May the Lord keep them pure no matter how crimson their past might have
been and may the Virgin Mary be our model of authentic purity.
There is beauty in waiting. "Our page has turned," so goes a song, because the Lord has written our story since the beginning.
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